Apr 182012

Naruto Sucks annoying ideas and themes

Naruto is one of the most popular anime as of this writing.  The web is full of fan sites, YouTube videos, DVD’s available to buy and it’s currently airing on TV.  Naruto is a huge success, so why does it suck; well that’s why I’m writing this blog.  I want to do something different.  I want to critically explain why I think Naruto sucks.  So here goes.

1.  Rock Lee Saga.

Rock Lee is my favorite character in Naruto.  He barely exists in Naruto Shippudden, this character pretty much got the Fuck You from the author.  I honestly don’t understand the point of Rock Lee in Naruto.

The appeal of Lee is he works very hard.  He is a failure in life, but his hard work and dedication will show all who doubted him that he is an excellent ninja.  His dedication makes him look foolish and pathetic, but in the end he will win.  (YEAH TOO BAD HE DIDN’T, FUCK THIS ANIME).

Why did Lee lose to Gaara, what was the point of building him up like that and lose.  Was it to show Naruto that you can break the wall between Genius and Failure?  Was it to inspire the other failure fighters?  Nahh He just fucking lost for no reason.  To make matters worse he gets seriously injured and has to take a life and death surgery to recover.

When Naruto fought Neji why wasn’t Lee watching.  This was a defining moment in the anime where Naruto broke the wall between Genius and Failure and OF COURSE HINATA AND LEE DIDN”T SEE IT.  WHY????????????????????

In the end Lee lost because of

2. Village Leaf people are assholes and deserve to go to hell.

I find it strange Naruto was ostracized and shunned in this village.  I have to ask why?  What did he do?   It’s because they forced the nine-tails on an innocent baby and blamed him for the disaster of the nine-tails fox.  This is similar to blaming a family member of a criminal.  You can’t blame the son for his father’s deeds, they are not connected.

This village is so fucked up and stupid that they basically emotionally destroy this poor kid.  Of course Naruto can’t leave the village or they fucking hunt him and kill him. Naruto sucks monkey balls.

3.  Village Leaf is actually a dangerous cult.


Cult Definition:  A strong devotion or interest in a particular person, idea or thing with or without religious associations, or the people holding such an interest.

The Leaf trains their children to follow their warped sense of duty, schooling them to be assassins, thieves or soldiers.  You could argue the case that it is necessary since there is a war with the other ninja tribes like Sand and Sound.  Because Naruto was ridicule since he was a kid.  He actually can’t leave the village (because he is a valuable asset Nine-tail container), however other ninjas have no free will either, and they have to stay in the village.  Any Ninja who runs away is now a hunted man/woman.  Look up Bingo Book and see.

Pain also killed a lot of Ninja’s in leaf trying to get info no one would talk and he killed them.  The reason why no one talked it not because they want to save their friends and family, but because they are brainwashed by the Head of the Leafs Ninja’s to die like a dog.   You think the 3rd hokage was a good guy dying for the village fight Orochimaru, but no he’s a bad guy.  He allowed Hyuga family to go through Hyuga Main Family’s Jutsu causing Neji Hyuga to be a slave to the main family and branded him with a curse seal.  Yes the 3rd Hokage allows slavery as well.

Oh wait how about when Itachi slaughtered his whole clan (because of an impending Coup).  He stood by and let Danzo and the Elders order the slaughter, all the women and children too.  Hooray what a wonderful leader.

4.  Naruto has no Blood on his hand.

This is a weird one for me to explain.  Naruto is sort of like Vash the Stampede (Trigun) and Himura Kenshin (Rurouni Kenshin).  Basically Naruto is on a Buddha path to stop the hate and violence, the problem here is that he doesn’t know the suffering or torment of taking another life.  He almost killed Haku in an early mission, but the author of this crap cop out again and Kakashi ended up accidently killing him.  Yes Naruto at the age of 12 was trying to kill someone.

Later as Naruto grows in power he is now trying to save everyone.  God just kill me now.  How many anime characters are like this (becoming Jesus or the fucking Chosen one, god Naruto Sucks)?

If Naruto had blood on his hands and choose to fight his dark path (like Kenshin), then this anime would have been more interesting, now he’s just Jesus trying to stop the war.

 5.  Chunin Exams are like the Hunger games.

These Chunin exams are sick.  What twisted fuck invested this shit?  All the children have to go in the forest and attack each other to get a corresponding scroll.  There are no rules here you can team up or just slaughter the fuck out of everyone.  Anyone watching this doesn’t see the problem here. 

These kids are brainwashed by their cult leader and volunteer to do this.  At least with Hunger games it was a lottery and no one wanted to do this.  Basically Gaara goes on a killing spree during the games, guy is a fucking psycho.

After the forest nightmare, now you fight the remaining contestants who are alive in a one-on-one duel (of course the leaf characters don’t die).

In this duel we see Shino Aburame vs Zaku Abumi.  In the end Zaku arms are blown off.  This fourteen year old poverty stricken orphan loses his arms and then is killed by Orochimaru,

Remember this anime is for kids, Naruto Sucks.


6.  Neji was right.

The point of Naruto in the beginning anyway was his struggle to be acknowledged and respected in the village.   There is a divide between drop-out and genius.  What made Lee a compelling character was he had no powers and through hard-work he tried to bridge the gap.  Naruto use to be similar.

Neji argument was everything was pre-destined.  Neji was born a slave, and whatever he did wouldn’t change that.   Lee was a failure and whatever happened that wouldn’t change.   Naruto had a similar fate to Lee and since he was a failure he could not change that.  His destiny was set.  When Naruto defeated Neji it was a defining moment in the series.  The failure won, the wall was broken or so we thought.

Naruto father is Minato Namikaze and his mother is Uzumaki Kushina.   Basically Minato is a super ninja with incredible power and was a Hokage.  Uzamaki Kushina had special chakara and was one of the strongest women in the village.  Technically Naruto had the best genes possible so the Nature vs. Nurture argument doesn’t work here.  He was born gifted he just happened to be a late bloomer.

So NEJI WAS FUCKING RIGHT.  Making that great moment when Naruto defeated Neji pointless and stupid, because eventually Naruto’s destiny is to become Hokage, it was pre-ordained. Naruto Sucks.


7.  Nagato resurrected everyone.

I was so happy when the corpses were piling on in the village Leaf because of Pain’s attack.  Finally some Karmic justice, but Nooooo!

Through the power of love Naruto convinces Nagato to believe in him.  Nagato then resurrects everyone from his own fucking attack.  He had a right to revenge when Danzo killed Pain in front of him.  Of course Jesus Naruto comes in and convinces Nagato the error of his ways.  God gag me.  Bullshit Naruto Sucks.


8. Miscellaneous shit

I have a few more reasons, but I’m tired and I’m not going into more detail.  Itachi reason to kill the Uchiha clan is stupid.  Sakura sucks and I can’t believe she is a main character. Naruto says dattebayo after every fucking sentence.  Fillers galore in this fucking anime.

Kakashi finishes off Kakuzu (who is an unarmed and helpless prisoner) and Kisame Hoshigaki is forced to kill himself because the noble Leaf is extracting information from his mind, a form of torture I argue.  This behavior is unacceptable in any society including times of war.

Finally this fucking anime goes on and on and on.  I’ll probably be an old man with no teeth after this fucking anime is done.

These are my reasons why Naruto Sucks.